I have been in training this year to listen and trust that still small voice inside no matter how silly or unreasonable it may sound. There are people I believe God brings forward for us to help. Knowing this, it is still hard as mental judgements get in the way...but who am I to argue with who God chooses for me to help?
One such young man is Pius. He is about 18 and was one of the boys that lived at Good Shepherd and was sponsored by the Brothers through primary school. He came to me early in my arrival at the monastery, along with many other young men, asking me for financial help, for sponsorship in University or for anything I could give. I listened to their stories, which all had the same tone.
 |
| Pius and I during one of our "meetings" |
These young men were not taught how to enter the real world. They are devoid of fathers to help guide them...to teach them how to be men...how to approach people, how to get their first job. I was reflecting back on my own life remembering the lectures I had to sit through and the counseling about how to interview (which I sat sighing heavily and rolling my eyes through). I was LUCKY...those lessons my Father taught me are still with me.
I asked Father Henry if I could set up a class to teach these young men life skills...Father asked me to first counsel a few to see if it would even be helpful. He knew their mentality and did not trust it would work. I did....what started as a group of nearly 6 ended up being 3 in the end. Life is hard, poverty wins out due to lack of hope and lack of knowing that one CAN bring oneself out of the depths with focus, hard work and belief!
 |
| The lucky are able to manage road side shops |
I started with Pius...he is a nice looking young man who when I met him, carried himself with slumped shoulders and a swagger of the typical teen. He dressed like a typical teen with the pants around the bottom of his hips, the scruffy face and the untrimmed hair. He looked more like an intimidating street kid than anything because of his tall stature and build, BUT when I sat down with him and watched him tell me his dreams, I saw something else...I saw a young man full of promise...I saw the hope still in his eyes and the pleading to make that dream manifest.
He wanted badly to become a lawyer...he wanted to be able to turn around and help the poor and be their advocate because he had acutely experienced others as well as himself being taken advantage of.
He talked on passionately....I saw flashes of pictures of this young man in my head dressed in a suit and doing something to help the world. I could see the huge potential he carried within him. I felt God was telling me...HELP HELP him.
 |
| Generally, it is hard physical labor for a couple dollars a day |
I sat quietly looking him in the eyes when he finished...the pleading I saw there was still present. I told him firmly "I cannot put you through school. I do not have the resources to do so as I have made other commitments which I need to fulfill. " I saw his face fall..I saw the disappointment that was so familiar to him sweep across his him and weigh down on him. His shoulders slumped even more and he looked at the ground.
"What I will teach you is how to get a job so you can put yourself through school" He had a pained look in his eyes as he met my gaze and I knew what he was going to say..."But Sister Carol, you cannot get a job here. I am nobody and I have no education!" I knew he was right, in that even University graduates cannot find jobs. Most University graduates were pumping gas or working in a grocery store. Only a small percentage are able to get jobs that will actually support a family. "Trust me" is all I said. He had no other choice..he went along with what I taught him hoping I would just change my mind and sponsor him. It was a start.
 |
| And there is no reprieve... |
What I did know is that God was telling me that this young man is someone special and he would turn around and help His people someday...with God, nothing is impossible. I began to counsel Pius weekly. I grilled him on how to hold himself....to look people in the eyes, how to shake hands, how to speak with confidence. It was a lot of work but I kept telling Pius, "Trust me". I was not easy on him. Every time he slumped or stared at the ground, I would bark at him. I played the part of the Ugandan Father that he was lacking. It was hard to break the "Ugandan" handshake but even more difficult to break the lack of faith.
I made him research all the major law firms in Kampala and pick a few. His homework was to learn everything about the firm.. the names of the partners, what cases they were working on and the status. He learned about first impressions...how to dress....how to hold himself...how to speak with confidence...how to balance assertiveness without being aggressive...how to look into someone's eyes without being challenging. He whined at first...it required work with no money..."Trust me" I kept telling him. The others gave up because they could not see the point and lost hope...Pius somehow stuck it out with me.
 |
| Regardless of age... |
 |
| Old or young... |
I helped him polish his CV and cover letter. I told him NOT to approach the firm until I felt he was ready. He was anxious to move forward but I explained that the first 5 min will make or break him....one does not get a second chance here in this competitive world. He was not ready even after a month. I continued to bark at him but he was starting to look different and hold himself different. I grilled him with interview questions in the event he did manage to get to speak with a lawyer..."Why should I hire you?" "What can you offer our firm with no education?" along with many others so that he could answer off the top of his head.
Pius had to be resourceful. I would not give him the money for a suit (he would not need one of his own for awhile) I made him find someone he could borrow from. I made him learn to be resourceful. He did...I counseled him that the secretary was the MOST important person he had to connect with....she was the gatekeeper. He had to pass the gatekeeper first. I told him this was his goal...to get an appointment with a lawyer.
 |
| Many of us do not know the real meaning of work or hardship... |
He set a goal for himself to make his first appearance on a Monday. I prayed to God to allow him success. I got a call to meet him a few days later. Pius looked broken and down. "How did it go?" I asked...he replied that he failed...he did not get to speak to a lawyer...he only got an appointment to speak with a lawyer and when he did go back, he was told there were no jobs for him at the time. I started shouting and jumping up and down..."YOU DID IT!" I congratulated Pius who just stared at me like I was crazy...I told him that the goal was to get through the secretary and he passed the test on the FIRST TRY! I told him to try again...that he would most likely be offered a non paying job to sweep the floors but to TAKE IT. He had nothing better to do and might be given lunch at least.
I made him pick out another firm and do it again....He called me a week later and we met. Again, he looked forlorn and down. He sighed heavily telling me he got another interview and they offered him a job to sweep the floors but would not be paid. I again shouted with happiness and congratulations. Pius again looked at me as if I was crazy. "Pius", I said, "What else have you to do? You are there to prove you are worthy of sponsorship. I am hoping one of the lawyers sees promise in you and sponsor you on his or her own". I told him that if he goes to work well dressed, ALWAYS on time or early (under no circumstances is he to be late for work), always with a smile, never a complaint and ALWAYS helpful, then they would move him up and pay him a small amount.
 |
| We must never complain lest we be put in the same position.... |
I did not hear from Pius for a few months. He called me and we met to talk. They did indeed move him up to "Gofer" (Go for this, Go for that) and paid him a little bit. Pius whined to me about how little it was. Once again, I congratulated him on his success. Pius was learning, however....he had taken in those lessons on how to be assertive to heart and had been talking with the firm about school. They were helping him get into a certificate program by writing letters though would not (yet) sponsor him. I knew it was a test... I knew they saw the same promise in Pius which I did. I was excited beyond belief. It was up to Pius to show them he was worthy of University sponsorship.
I could now see the hope in Pius's eyes BUT he had to come up with 800,000 shillings per term for a 4 term certificate course. He would have to work and go to school. I told Pius it would be hard and this was just a test and the firm would be watching him closely. They wanted to see if he could handle the long hours of both work and school and if he could make good marks, still not be late, still show up with a smile and looking sharp. I made Pius agree to put ALL the money he earned into his tuition and I would loan him the rest of the money. I made him promise to maintain his work ethic no matter what...NO EXCUSES.
 |
| For we are born into wealth compared to the rest of the world.... |
I was walking towards the monastery the other day when I saw someone approaching me. It was a well dressed man walking quickly towards me, shoulders back, with a long purposeful stride of confidence and urgency. It was Pius and had a bit of a start when I realized this. As he approached, he was smiling softly and looking into my eyes. He greeted me with a professional handshake that was PERFECT. He had come to say goodbye....to thank me for this opportunity. His eyes sparkled with excitement though he was able to contain his emotions now like a professional lawyer. I could see the influence of the people he worked with and could see that he had grown into a man.
I knew in my heart as I listened to him speak, that he was now on his path. That all I told him would come to pass. I made him promise NEVER to forget who he was and where he came from and to maintain his commitment to help his people. He promised he would never forget. I pray now that he does indeed get his sponsorship to University...I must trust as I asked Pius to trust.
 |
| and a responsibility to help... Do not turn away |
 |
| Nothing more powerful to see than a young man full of hope |
No comments:
Post a Comment