THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS/MAKING A DIFFERENCE THROUGH LOVE (OSCAR)

Now that the focus is back to work, I am looking at a "to do" list that looks to be the size of Mount Everest. I am getting very tired now and am having more of a difficult time focusing. I have upwelling emotions that wave through me leaving me slightly breathless...it is hard to believe that my year is up. I am going home on the 28th of October....the last few weeks will fly. I know that..... I am trying NOT to get overwhelmed.

Once I dropped off my family, it was back to work. I had not spent enough time with the boys over the last few weeks so I made sure to be there...ALL day and most of the evening. They were jumping all over me when I arrived on Saturday as there had been a rumor that my family had come to 'take me away'.

The many faces of Oscar

He is the one in front

This is one of his more favorite poses

One boy in particular was quietly coming up to me and grabbing my hand. He was pinching my arm and poking me in the ribs when I was not looking. It was Oscar. Oscar has been a bit of a challenge to me over this last year. He is one of my "core group" kids from the beginning. His motivation to help me initially was based solely on the desire to get treats or outings.

Oscar with Shaffique

This is an abandoned street kid just like Brian. Whereas Brian managed to maintain his integrity, Oscar, like many, retained his survival skills. He was sharp...always watching me. He was there ANY time I had sweets and was sneaking into the therapy room behind me to watch where I kept things. He was also Douglass's assistant and things would go missing...even expensive equipment I brought in such as a pulse oximeter. This was a hard thing for both Douglass and I to handle. On one hand, he was just a 12 year old boy, on the other hand he was a street kid wise beyond his years. It was hard not to dislike him for his behaviors...the lying and the stealing.

Always looking out for what I might pull out of my bag...

When I heard his story I felt completely ashamed...ashamed for making judgements about a boy who is not like this on his own volition...he was made this way...by US...by adults. We made him this way. He experienced trauma no one in the world should....being literally naked and cold...covering himself up with cardboard to stay warm....being beaten by his family...starving...living in fear of being killed on the streets....and being taken advantage of with NO adult coping strategies to even begin to deal with it.

Douglass and I would alternate in moments of forgiveness trying to coach each other to continue to give him chances. It was hard. There was an outing that I planned to take the boys on. Douglass found out some things Oscar had done and was adamant that he did not deserve to go. I agreed but something inside told me to take him anyway. It was a struggle inside...wanting to teach the kids consequences yet not wanting to break their spirit.

I became acutely aware of how difficult this balance was for all parents and that I had been spared this trial by not having children myself. I prayed...prayed hard for guidance on what to do. I heard in my heart he needed Love...Love is the only thing that can heal him....Love is all that mattered anyway. I made the decision to bring him along despite what he had done. I told him I was not proud of his behaviors but I loved him anyway. I never mentioned it again.

Still playful and silly as he should be at 12

Loves my helmet in particual

Douglass also did the same thing when other medical equipment went missing. Oscar had been banned from the clinic by the Brothers for this. Douglass brought him in and sat him down. He explained to Oscar that he knew Oscar was stealing and even lying and that Oscar had these behaviors so engrained that he believed Oscar was unaware he was even doing it. Douglass said, "I believe in you and you are a great help to me. I will keep you on as my assistant knowing you will continue to steal from me".

Here is where God can work miracles....Oscar from that time on has been protective of the clinic notifying Douglass if any kids were taking things. He still has relapses of taking the sweets from their hiding space BUT he is turning around....not by being "caned" or disciplined or by being lectured...he is not turning around because of having things taken away or by being given the penance of extra work...He is turning around because he is being given a chance REGARDLESS...but most of all...because he is being loved REGARDLESS!

One of my boys till the end
(Oscar the last one on the R) 

LOVE...WOW...I had no idea how powerful that can be...now I know.....for it is saving the life and hope of a young boy who otherwise would most likely end up back on the streets dead in more ways than one....LOVE...it can save a life. No more excuses...Mother Theresa was right...LOVE is all that matters!