~THE END~

It is hard to sit down and write an ending....I don't feel there is an ending...I am sitting here in Newark, NJ at the home of the Haydens who provided soo much help over this mission. I am now at a loss for words so I will throw out feelings instead.

I thank CMMB for calling me and asking me to consider coming on this mission...they have changed my life...I am now forever dedicated to serving the poor...

I AM floating in incredible PEACE...

I have no angst, no sadness, no regrets, no fears of the future....

I feel the presence of the children with me in my heart.

I feel as if I am in a period of blessed reprieve...I feel I am being gifted with rest, food, quiet, peace and I am feeling it is important to bask in this for now...so I am

I feel this is now the beginning...that I passed a crucial test and completed something that HAD to be done....and "it" was done....though I have no idea what "it" is....

I am able to be present with children, Chris and Liz's children and fully enjoy their enthusiasm and joy...

I am able to be present with my own fatigue from the time change and odd periods of needing to nap..now being able to admit it and be OK...no longer a sign of weakness...

I am able to be present to enjoy the bounty of the Earth...pears, apples and even the typical American things such as pizza and burgers....ahhh...a taste of home...though matoke and rice are still calling out to me...

I am resting in 100% Faith that the future path I will walk will be revealed in due time..

I am not worried about LOSING anything...losing a job, losing healthcare, losing strength and fitness, losing youth...I had no idea what an incredible waste of time that was...right now...I am...that is it...I just AM.

I have no home but I feel my home is anywhere and everywhere...I no longer require a specific "place" or bed, or space...I feel just as at home here in NJ as I did in Africa and as I will in the pacific Northwest.

I see people as gifts from God...every single one of them, with potential for creating miracles with their own special gifts...I find myself wanting to know about everyone with sincere interest...

I am excited about what miracles God will have me be involved with in the future...have no doubt that it will continue to be exciting..

I EXPECT miracles now...I will realize it is me that does not have my head on straight if I don't see one at least daily.

WHAT a GIFT I have been given...to live in the present....to be fully at peace with it and to expect miracles...no fears...no angst...

DEAR GOD,

PLEASE BLESS EACH AND EVERY PERSON WHO HELPED YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS THROUGH ME IN WHATEVER CAPACITY THEY DID...IF FROM PRAYER, GOOD THOUGHTS, SMILES, FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE, ENCOURAGEMENT, PASSING THE WORD ALONG..

MAY YOU BE ABLE TO GIVE THEM WHAT I FEEL RIGHT NOW...GIVE THEM A DEEP SENSE OF PEACE AND JOY THAT THEY HAD THEIR HAND IN ANYTHING DONE IN UGANDA. LET THEM FEEL SATISFIED FOR A JOB WELL DONE. GIVE THEM THE SAME REPRIEVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME.

PLEASE WIPE AWAY ANY PROBLEM THEY ARE ENCOUNTERING, ANY FINANCIAL HARDSHIP, ANY FEAR OR ANGST, FOR THEY HAVE CHANGED THE LIVES OF YOUR MOST NEEDY AND GAVE HOPE TO YOUR MOST FORLORN. BLESS THEM IN THIS MOMENT AND FOR THE MOMENTS TO COME.

I BEG YOU TO SHOW THEM THE CAPACITY FOR JOY AND LOVE AND MIRACLES THAT YOU HAVE SHOWN ME.

I THANK YOU FOR I KNOW YOU HAVE ALREADY HEARD BEFORE I ASKED AND ARE SMILING DOWN ON US GETTING READY TO SHOWER ALL WITH YOUR BOUNTIFUL BLESSINGS!

I THANK YOU WITH MY LIFE!

YOUR SERVANT FOREVER,

CAROL