~THE END~

It is hard to sit down and write an ending....I don't feel there is an ending...I am sitting here in Newark, NJ at the home of the Haydens who provided soo much help over this mission. I am now at a loss for words so I will throw out feelings instead.

I thank CMMB for calling me and asking me to consider coming on this mission...they have changed my life...I am now forever dedicated to serving the poor...

I AM floating in incredible PEACE...

I have no angst, no sadness, no regrets, no fears of the future....

I feel the presence of the children with me in my heart.

I feel as if I am in a period of blessed reprieve...I feel I am being gifted with rest, food, quiet, peace and I am feeling it is important to bask in this for now...so I am

I feel this is now the beginning...that I passed a crucial test and completed something that HAD to be done....and "it" was done....though I have no idea what "it" is....

I am able to be present with children, Chris and Liz's children and fully enjoy their enthusiasm and joy...

I am able to be present with my own fatigue from the time change and odd periods of needing to nap..now being able to admit it and be OK...no longer a sign of weakness...

I am able to be present to enjoy the bounty of the Earth...pears, apples and even the typical American things such as pizza and burgers....ahhh...a taste of home...though matoke and rice are still calling out to me...

I am resting in 100% Faith that the future path I will walk will be revealed in due time..

I am not worried about LOSING anything...losing a job, losing healthcare, losing strength and fitness, losing youth...I had no idea what an incredible waste of time that was...right now...I am...that is it...I just AM.

I have no home but I feel my home is anywhere and everywhere...I no longer require a specific "place" or bed, or space...I feel just as at home here in NJ as I did in Africa and as I will in the pacific Northwest.

I see people as gifts from God...every single one of them, with potential for creating miracles with their own special gifts...I find myself wanting to know about everyone with sincere interest...

I am excited about what miracles God will have me be involved with in the future...have no doubt that it will continue to be exciting..

I EXPECT miracles now...I will realize it is me that does not have my head on straight if I don't see one at least daily.

WHAT a GIFT I have been given...to live in the present....to be fully at peace with it and to expect miracles...no fears...no angst...

DEAR GOD,

PLEASE BLESS EACH AND EVERY PERSON WHO HELPED YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS THROUGH ME IN WHATEVER CAPACITY THEY DID...IF FROM PRAYER, GOOD THOUGHTS, SMILES, FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE, ENCOURAGEMENT, PASSING THE WORD ALONG..

MAY YOU BE ABLE TO GIVE THEM WHAT I FEEL RIGHT NOW...GIVE THEM A DEEP SENSE OF PEACE AND JOY THAT THEY HAD THEIR HAND IN ANYTHING DONE IN UGANDA. LET THEM FEEL SATISFIED FOR A JOB WELL DONE. GIVE THEM THE SAME REPRIEVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME.

PLEASE WIPE AWAY ANY PROBLEM THEY ARE ENCOUNTERING, ANY FINANCIAL HARDSHIP, ANY FEAR OR ANGST, FOR THEY HAVE CHANGED THE LIVES OF YOUR MOST NEEDY AND GAVE HOPE TO YOUR MOST FORLORN. BLESS THEM IN THIS MOMENT AND FOR THE MOMENTS TO COME.

I BEG YOU TO SHOW THEM THE CAPACITY FOR JOY AND LOVE AND MIRACLES THAT YOU HAVE SHOWN ME.

I THANK YOU FOR I KNOW YOU HAVE ALREADY HEARD BEFORE I ASKED AND ARE SMILING DOWN ON US GETTING READY TO SHOWER ALL WITH YOUR BOUNTIFUL BLESSINGS!

I THANK YOU WITH MY LIFE!

YOUR SERVANT FOREVER,

CAROL

SAYING GOODBYE

I never wanted a party...never wanted attention....wanted to slip away quietly with life continuing to run on its normal crazy tempo. NOT going to happen. Father Raymond told me..."You have no choice...the boys want a party". For them....that is the ONLY reason...for them alone, I agreed.

Nicholas presenting an AMAZING parting gift of a painting
(They know I ride Bodas all day every day) 

Saying goodbye to my friends

Dan presenting me with a choice of his beautiful works
as a parting gift

It turned out to be one fun event after another...my last week and days were a celebration of life....celebration of love and communion....nothing sad... no gooey goodbyes or sadness...just plain old FUN and JOY! It was perfect!

Marty's scrubs to the Muzees

They have been bugging me for their
"uniforms" 

Father Raymond arranged the party at the boys plans and request. They were the ones who planned it all...from the DJ to the dances they made up...the new songs to sing about our time together...the pictures and paintings...the letters and hugs...the laughter and review of fun memories....the good food and the CAKE!

The mood of my last goodbye to my helpers

Silliness till the end!

I laughed and smiled...I felt an outpouring of LOVE and no sadness....it was the best send off and will stay in my heart and soul forever. I had so many people telling me "You are Ugandan now...you are a part of us". What an amazing thing to hear.

My other boys...they will all make it! 

Sister Hilda who never gave up on trying to teach me
Luganda (though I was the worst student) 

Douglass walked me out that night...He turned to me and said..."Did you notice that there were no tears?" I commented that it was the best party ever and I was surprised that I did not cry, nor did anyone else. Douglass chuckled and shook his head. He looked down smiling and softly said..."No one cried, not even me...we all know you will be back. The kids know you will be back" He looked up and met my gaze. We both just quietly nodded knowing this to be true.

Some party scenes 

Seated for mass..

Brother Gabriel's speech 

I got a seat up front to see all the action! 

The boys worked hard all week on their dance moves 

Sibiri break dancing for me! 

We all had fun! Westby (in red) is the MC

A never will happen again thing...Carol being asked to come up
to dance with the kids. Alex is to my R

A parting gift of a Ugandan child to remember them all by 

The traditional cake cutting 

All the kids signed the back

making it look like an art project in itself 

My last gesture of service...serving the kids lunch 

Saying goodbye (for now) to the staff

TAKING CARE OF FAMILY

I feel I am approaching a time when I am leaving family. The people here, the Brothers, the ones who assist me in my work...they are all family. Uganda feels like "home" to me now. I feel an unexplainable connection to everyone here and a LOVE that will never fade.

Michael's family (Michael is my original Boda driver and friend who was killed in Feb of this year) has become my family. I feel that Michael is often at my shoulder asking me to help and guide his brothers in his absence.

Godfrey holding Michael's son Aiden

Both are doing well now. Alex is now in school for becoming a community dental technician and is working hard in school. He has 3 years of education before he graduates and is ecstatic about this opportunity. He will make it. I met Alex just to talk about a month or two ago. He looked to me to be rather thin though he was sharply dressed with a briefcase. He just came to "talk" and catch up. I asked what he was doing. He managed to get a teaching job despite the lack of credentials for very little pay (150,000 shillings a month...equivalent to 60 USD) Not enough to live on. He only admitted with my insistence that he was going without food to make ends meet but he was "just fine" and would be "OK". He worked 6 days a week and 10-12 hours a day. He was so reliable that they were giving him more and more responsibility without any increase in pay. He was determined to make something of himself and his life. He was motivated by the memory of his older brother, Michael, who would never give up.

Alex and I when he came to visit with his family 

I watched him talking...I was amazed at his ability and persistence....his hope and his determination, his commitment to take care of his mother. I could not let this go....I heard once again in my head "Help him, Help him" I then asked Alex what he wanted to do...Alex replied...be a Doctor or medical officer. I told him to go to the school the next day and research the costs and requirements. Alex stared at me dumfounded. He knew what that meant. It took little more than a week and Alex was enrolled in the dental program at a good allied medicine school. He was on his way, thanks to a no interest loan.

Godfrey, the youngest brother,  is now working on his own business of selling the produce from the family farm in one of the local markets. It is hard making one's way in this very difficult world. Godfrey has been through a lot in the last year...the death of his brother, the death of his child, the loss of his fiance (she returned to her family in the village). He struggles with being hopeful as many young men here do. He is often walking that line of hopelessness and giving up. Godfrey struggles with having big dreams but no initiative to move towards it and is desperate for the guidance of his older brother or father who are both now gone. We meet regularly but I am at a loss for how to encourage him to make these moves on his own. The pain he carries still overwhelmed him.

Godfrey in front of his stand
(the men behind him will not move)

I am proud of him, though for taking initiative and setting up his own stand. This was a HUGE step for him...HUGE! He invited me to come see where he is now. I had to see and support him in any way I can. It was an experience that I had always wanted...to walk through one of the local markets. We negotiate small paths stepping over the peelings of potatoes, melons and rotten greens. The smells of the food and the sounds of people selling mixed in with the already loud noises of the cars and horns sounded like a cacophony of chaos. I could not stop smiling to myself. He is getting there...he is getting there.

We finally came to his stand which at this point remains empty of produce until harvest. He was so proud...proud to show me what he has accomplished (He has had to listen to my barking about having too many excuses) He is finally doing it...taking those steps...it was good to see the hope and pride in his eyes though I knew this was still not going to be easy. The locals are tough and bully him. They would not move from his stand to allow us to take pictures.

He is proud
(a first move on his own)

I stared at Godfrey looking so small amidst the very tough and rough locals pushing him around. They were making fun of me in Luganda... this I knew....I did not care but saw how they pushed Godfrey around. He needed to learn to talk back. I wasn't sure all they were saying but I responded back sharply in Luganda...I saw Godfrey smile after a few appeared to be apologetic. He whispered to me..."They feel ashamed as they assumed you did not know what they were saying".  I whispered back smiling, "I didn't know what they were saying...I only know people...DON'T let them bully you!"

I PRAY with all my heart that Godfrey does not lose hope. He really wants to become a writer but has yet to make the moves we talked about to make his dream come true....one cannot hand dreams to people...we can only give the tools and the advice and then step back. Step back to let them take those steps on their own. Please pray for him that he keeps taking those steps no matter how small. He represents the many who struggle here with overwhelming odds. Many will not make it....I pray Godfrey does.

Pray that he succeeds amidst the tough
shop owners who bully him 

MEDICAL FOLLOW UPS

Things take forever to complete in Africa on one hand BUT on the other, some things happen at the spur of the moment. Patricia Corell, PT had a love for one of the boys, Muindwa, since she started volunteering at Busega. She had talked about getting him in for surgery to fix his deformed legs so he could walk. Mulindwa was a normal boy until he was hit by a car sustaining a head injury. He came to us with behavioral issues, some psychosis and lower extremity contractures. Despite this, he had a penchant for climbing through the windows (even through the window grates) falling to the other side. Generally, he scooted along the ground.

Mulindwa trying to sit on the bench. 

This is a more typical posture. He knows I carry sweets in my
pocket which is why his hand is out. 

Douglass made a point of weaning him off all the medications he was on thinking this is what was exacerbating his psychosis. This was a good move. Mulindwa improved in this area though remained fairly restless trying to move everywhere. Douglass also realized this boy understood everything though he could not verbally communicate. Patricia already knew this from working with him though all the locals thought he was crazy and did not pay attention to him.

Patricia decided to sponsor his surgery. She took him for evaluation at Corsu and scheduled him to be admitted for surgery the next day. WOW....it was a scramble to organize but Brother Gabriel put it well..."We cannot turn away any good move to help the kids" So...we (Douglass, Medson and I along with the matron) took Mulindwa in for surgery the next day. This was the day after we had taken Phillip in for assessment for surgery.

Phillip posing. He needs surgery for progressive cord compression
resulting from a compression fracture and spinal TB 

We had talked about Phillip before. He is in great need of surgery to prevent progressive spinal cord compression...one of my goals was to have him assessed by the surgeon before I left. Again, time was running away from us and we still could not manage to coordinate with the surgeon for an appointment. FINALLY Douglass was able to get an appointment the week before I left.

During the consult with Katalemwa for a custom wheelchair and
leg braces

Phillip hoping for better 

The Doctor had to consult with the team as Phillips' surgery was going to be complicated. He came out of the office with a paper and said, "Admit him today for surgery tomorrow" This would have been the same day Mulindwa was being admitted. I said no....we need to wait a week or two to get organized. I stopped the surgeon in the hallway and started asking him question after question. He told me "We will discuss this when Phillip is admitted for surgery" I replied, "NO...we will discuss this now so I can decide IF I will have Phillip admitted for surgery". I may have shocked him, but I could not live with myself if I did not ask all the questions I knew to ask on behalf of one of my boys.

I felt they could do a good job and was happy with the information we got. The main concern was maintaining the function Phillip had...Though there are risks, the surgeon felt strongly there would be a good outcome. Douglass would have to organize this when I leave...this would be hard...I did not want Phillip to have to undergo this without me there...I feel God will take care of him...I will be praying my heart out.

Brian a year ago after first arriving. His skin is as bad as the wall
he is standing next to 

I had also been running Brian to the surgery and a skin specialist to get him assessed. I was afraid Brian was showing signs of Cushing syndrome...the Doctor confirmed my fears. We would have to wean Brian off steroids somehow though we still needed an accurate diagnosis. I had no idea how difficult this is. This will require a biopsy sent to the USA for assessment. We began to come up with a plan of action...he is in good hands with Doctor Monica at the Surgery. It will take time but I know we will come up with some answers.

Brian with Shaffique. Wearing long sleeves and pants
to hide his skin 

A year later with skin well controlled 

MEANWHILE...Sibabi (the boy we broke out of Mengo Hospital) is improving in his abdominal wound which is finally closing. He is back in school and nearly back to the top of the class. He is finally putting on weight. He will have issues the rest of his life as they did have problems during his first surgery. Now Sibabi is suffering with adhesions and bladder problems....I cannot complain too much...he is alive...the tenacity of this boy is amazing. He is alive and that is what matters.

Sibabi now gaining weight 

and getting back to normal 

These kids are born poor and tough which is why they survived their abandonment and life on the streets in the first place. Though well cared for now, they deserve a loving caregiver to fight for the best care for them...it is time they get the best. That is what a parent should do. That is what we are trying to do and is the reason the Brothers have dedicated their lives to serving them.

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

There are more projects that I am working on than can be mentioned here. Two of the major projects include finishing the music video for the boys as well as getting Brian's birth certificate in hand. Both of these have been taking more time and effort than I had originally planned. I keep trusting in God that if He wills, he will help me find a way of completing them.

Producer Innocent L and Producer Bull R

The music video...sigh...I was nearing the end of my stay...there is NO WAY I can look in the eyes of these boys and tell them that I was not able to finish it. I decided to meet with 2 producers to have the final edit done. The boys wanted to use the editor of their music producer by the name of Bull. I was also introduced to Isaac, a friend of Patricial Corell PT who was making music videos for big name singers such as Rabadaba, Chameleon and Navio. I hired them both. I figured whoever made the best video the fastest would be the one I went with. This proved to be a good move.

Nicholas the poet waiting for his shoot 

The other boys waiting 

Producer Bull, though working out of his home, managed to nail what the boys wanted in 2 short edits. Isaac was the one who came up with the idea of having the boys meet one of their famous singers, Rabadaba. He in fact called Rabadaba who was excited to do this! He is also a professional photographer photographing the likes of the Bugandan King and Queen.

I then somehow managed to plan one last surprise for Golden Crew...an outing mid week to go to FACE studio for a professional photo shoot. It was a wild hair and I scrambled to make it come together...arranging a taxi and truck to cart them and their wheelchairs out there..asking permission from Brother Gabriel to pull them out of school for a day and getting extra help to lift the boys in and out of the van and up and down the studio stairs.

Nicholas being photographed.
Flavia helping Nicholas pose 

Posing as the poet he is 

I brought along Nicholas, the poet as he was still suffering from pain and depression from his ongoing and progressive weakness. This moody poet, Doctor Love as he calls himself, needed a bit of UPLIFTING. I knew this would do the trick!

a moment between poses for Golden Crew

Highlighting Henry

It was again an adventure! It was a real photo shoot...music and lights and posing....food and laughter...we sat on the back porch waiting for the pictures to be developed...Flavia our photographer was able to reach Rabadaba who happened to be just down the street. He showed up to surprise the boys (though the driver, Douglass, Medson and Westby were all star struck as well) I met with him before he greeted everyone. He was kind and gracious. I thanked him for this opportunity profusely and made sure he realized he was about to make the kids dreams come true.

Waiting for a surprise they don't know is yet to come! 

It was AMAZING! How fun it was to see their faces when he walked in...I had them singing while waiting... and the boys were able to sing for him.

Meeting their idol, Rabadaba

Getting a life pep talk from a famous Ugandan singer 

Meanwhile, there was the issue of trying to get Brian's birth certificate. I wanted to bring him to to states for evaluation and treatment of this continuous skin condition. This has proved to be a nightmare of running to and from goverment agencies, waiting in line, being told no..having the police involved...then having to go to kassese myself (which I had no time to do). Brother John Reddy managed to locate Brian's father from the only information we had...the bus stop Brian used and his father's name. Bro John was out there recruiting for MOP when I called begging him for help. We managed to get a letter from his father turning over guardianship to MOP and agreeing to adoption should anyone want to and obtaining the baptismal certificate.

Everyone was star struck! 

Rabadaba was patient with all the pictures! 

Westby 

Douglass 

This turned out not to be enough...I was in tears when I found out a week before I left that we would have to get the actual certificate there. Douglass managed to have Brian's father go to the agency there and get the certificate. He then handed it to a Link bus driver and Douglass picked it up from the driver (who made some good money). THEN Douglass had to wait in the Kampala office for 1.5 full days to get the permanent certificate in hand which is needed for a passport.

Finally...certificate in hand! 

Next step...passport! 

Persistence finally paid off...thanks to the help of the Brothers and Douglass....I was finally breathing a sigh of relief as some major things were finally exiting my TO DO list! Thank you God...I felt He was testing me but I did not give up...that might have been the whole lesson.

Nicholas the poet

They captured who he is 

The new CD cover picture

Phillip's spirit is showing 

Sister Carol and her boys! 

The Busega crew

Highlighting Henry

Highlighting Rogers