I swear, I did go into last week thinking "all will be well" especially after a fun outing to the source of the Nile. For some reason, which I can only attribute to a bad sense of humor, God decided to test my metal. I may have failed my test initially, which is why the testing continued throughout the week...not ending until today, Sunday.
HOW YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD DAY:
1) You find out one of the children from Good Shepherd passed away... "Kato".... an adorable young boy with multiple medical issues. He was fully disabled and dependent, unable to move at all on his own. He knew everyone's name though. I remember him because he would call me by name even though I had only been to Good Shepherd 5-6 times in the last year. He passed away from respiratory complications. He was loved by everyone and we will all miss him.
2) You wake up and the bottom of your foot hurts all of a sudden. You think it might be a piece of glass so you go to the medical officer to have him remove it. You hear him chuckle...he says " That is NOT a piece of glass...it is a "jigger" YES...a worm...I have worms in my feet, a parting gift from Lira.
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| Highly GROSS! |
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| GET IT OUT!!! |
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| Now "jigger free" |
3) Head to the carpenter to pick up all the equipment after painfully arranging the transportation only to find he has not finished all of the pieces. No matter, what he did do was beautiful. Still staying happy.
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| Rober Jr (not the mason) watching my stuff while we drive back to Busega |
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| some of the beautiful work done (look at my balance beam!) |
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| The curtain boxes |
4) Arrive at Busega, enter the rehab room to find a lake in the middle of the floor. All the windows are closed...the culprit...a HUGE leak in the ceiling. No longer smiling...suddenly very quiet.
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| This does not look bad...a few minutes later everything came down to reveal huge cracks and falling plaster |
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| my "welcome to work" scene |
5) Note that the metal sculpture was sitting in the water on the new tile floor all night creating a nice red stain to trace the edges of the sculpture on the floor. Now no longer speaking.
6) Notified Bro Sonny who had a new guy help with the roof repair because we could not reach Robert the mason (the cement on the roof was too thin and cracked off with a tap of a key). They removed the plate and screws from the roof without sending someone inside to catch the huge heavy I-bolt. The I-bolt falls 9 feet to the floor below putting a 1 " wide and 1/2" deep hole in the new tile. Carol walks in, stands there stunned and then "freaks out"
7) Get home at 7:30 PM because of the need to stop at Mengo Hospital on the way home to visit Muzee and take Augustin in for eye surgery scheduled the next day. Not prepared for English class at 8 PM...wing it.
TEST 1: (F-) FAILURE TO COMPOSE: Carol fails the first test of composure (BAD). The kids decide this is the time to run to Sister Carol begging for treats, movies, love, etc. Carol snaps saying "NOT NOW!" The kids were relentless but I rushed on between the roof and the room not stopping to hug any of them....
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| The REAL REASON I am here (the needed perspective) |
Had I just stopped and allowed myself to be present, I would have experienced the healing power of the love of the kids....the whole reason this is all happening. Sadly, I did not. Sister Anna then walks in asking questions about other things. Carol again snaps saying "Please, NOT NOW...this is NOT a good time to be asking me for anything" Sister Anna is hurt and leaves.
RESULT: The roof is fixed; the new cement in place and Carol is instructed to keep the cement wet (especially the next AM). The kids are now keeping their distance and Sister Anna is not talking.
The visit to Alex, the Muzee was a humbling experience...entering the hospital with 15 brothers makes an impact. Alex is reassured and feels loved. We then drop off Augustin to be admitted for eye surgery the following morning. John, one of the men who stays in the hospital with our residents is very reassuring but Augustin is crying. We all reassure him....I go to get him his favorite food and treats for supper while Brother Sonny has a "talk" with Augustin to help him feel calm.
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| Imagine a truck load of Brothers entering the hospital to visit you! |
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| Surrounding the bed of Muzee Alex |
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| Muzee was overcome with joy and renewed with hope (he was afraid he would not make it before they arrived) |
I am realizing how I let silly stupid things upset me when there are so many more important things in life. I resolve to compose myself better the next day...I am thinking all the PROBLEMS are over and the rest will be smooth sailing. I promise to be better next time...WRONG...
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| Brother Sonny consoling Augustin |
HOW YOU KNOW IT'S MOVING TO BAD DAYS (PLURAL):
1) The next AM you have pain at the tip of toe...you look and notice the now familiar signs of another jigger. YES...ANOTHER one...this time bigger and more gross. Douglass removes it (painfully as this one does not want to let go) leaving a huge crater. Still trying to smile...still trying to stay positive...
2) You realize you cannot make it to work early because you need to meet with prearranged people to discuss construction issues. You appoint someone to water the roof to keep the new cement from cracking. You arrive near noon (sun is blazing hot) to find no one has watered the roof. You go to do it yourself only to find the gate to the roof padlocked shut. You start to lose composure...You run around trying to find the key snapping at people...the gate man with the key walked out a few minutes prior to who knows where and has not returned
THEN...Godfrey walks in to have a nice "chat" and visit.
TEST 2: (D-) FAILURE TO LEARN LESSON FROM PREVIOUS DAY: Finally, I stop to talk with Godfrey who had been trying to chase me around to talk with me. He only wanted to bring me a bag of HUGE mangos from his village as a "thank you" for helping him out of a tight spot the week before. I managed to stop for only a moment to smile, thank him profusely but then I rushed off leaving him, while searching for the gate man with the key.
3) The gate man comes back with the key, but the key will NOT unlock the padlock. UGH! Wait with ANGST as the sun continues to get warmer...thoughts of the cement cracking at that moment flood my head. They try everything...oil, pins, pushing and tugging to the point the key is bent and cracked and the gate remains locked.
4) Carol, now in a panic, climbs onto the roof via the monkey cage (after remembering having seen the kids do this) and lugs a pail of water up there with her. NOTE: the cement is wet, there is wet sand and paper piled on top of it....all is well.
TEST 3: (D+) REALIZATION THAT ALL IS WELL AND THIS IS A SILLY TEST
5) A child comes up the stairs...turns out someone went to Brother Sonny who told them the padlock had been changed. They came with the new key, which worked. BREATHE....I go downstairs...the kids come running up to me...this time I hug them and smile and push my "crazies" away for a moment.
TEST 4: (C+) CALMING DOWN
6) Apologize to the kids (who despite the last 2 days, have no idea what I am talking about...the true meaning of FORGIVE AND FORGET) Apologize to Sister Anna and bring her a peace offering of a box of biscuits. She is also forgiving and very understanding.
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| They don't care about broken mirrors, or lights or leaky ceilings or broken tile |
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| They just want LOVE and attention! |
7) Wait for Robert to install the mirrors....he never showed the last 2 days. Today, once again, he does not show up. Unable to reach him (he turns his phone off when he sees me call) I manage to reach him by calling him on someone else's phone. He admits he is not coming. We reschedule for tomorrow...
8) Helping Alfred remove the light fixtures to clean inside them...2 break because the electrician never put in 2 screws to hold the base of the fixture stable...needed 2 pairs of hands...one to hold the base and one to unscrew...they were put on so tight that 2 of the 6 light fixtures broke. Did not freak out...breathed deep..."It is OK, this is fixable"
TEST 5: (B-) REMAINING CALM
HOW YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD WEEK:
1) The next 2 days unable to reach Robert to install everything...time is running out. Getting home too late to prepare for class...having to prepare for class while walking the 5 min from the Monastery to the classroom...starting to trust God more...as ideas are "downloaded" into my head on the way...I know I need to trust...trust is hard.
2) Decide to talk with Fr Raymond re trying to get Robert scheduled to help me for a day. Robert has been working for Fr Raymond to complete a few projects for him before the Founder of MOP arrives in a few weeks. Father calls Robert and arranges for Robert to help me for a day. YAY! We managed to get most things taken care of. The sculpture glass pieces do not fit into the frames....have no idea how I am going to fix this. I decide to trust it will work out.
TEST 6: (B) STAYING CALM & BEING LOGICAL WITH PROBLEM SOLVING
3) Managed to arrange with the carpenter (who is deaf) and Robert to install the wood frame around the mirrors. The mirrors are very touchy as the wall behind them is uneven...we had 2 mirrors break during installation so Robert HAS to be the one to install them as he is familiar with the problem. We pick up the carpenter and his assistant...call Robert at 10:30 AM and he says he is on his way...a few more minutes and he will be there....MISTAKE #1...I decide to be efficient and run supply errands (getting the curtain rods, replacement tiles and replacement light fixtures) while they install the frame. MISTAKE #2...trust someone saying they are on their way.
4) I arrive 2 hours later and am greeted by Douglass at the entrance. You KNOW it's bad when the first thing out of his mouth is "PLEASE do not freak out". He then quietly says..."They broke the mirror". I ask..."Did Robert show up?" He replies "Not yet". The carpenters decided to install the frame instead of waiting. I cannot blame them. They tightened down on the last corner and the mirror broke.
TEST 7: (A-) REPEAT OF TEST 1 BUT THIS TIME MINIMAL EMOTIONAL RESPONSE
5) I stand outside the room locked out (Alfred has my keys). The children All come running up to me to greet me and ask for the usual sweets, movies, hugs...this time I give a weak smile, hug them all and say I will try and get them something. Brian comes up to me running and smiling. I hug him...I tell him I may be quiet as I am sad at the moment, but if he gives me a few minutes, I promise to be better...he hugs me tighter and smiles back.
6) The carpenter arrives and looks a bit worried. I ask if he has eaten lunch and smile. He nods. I write down, "Please do not worry....it is OK. I can fix this. It is not your fault" They pack up and leave after I pay them a LOT of money for their work.
7) I go to eat lunch as I am starving...there is no food left and what is left is silverfish (smelly chewy things that I cannot bring myself to swallow). I leave....I see Douglass standing at the end of the hall...he waits for me and looks at me with sympathy...I walk up to him and the tears start to burn my eyes..."Please do not cry" he softly says patting my shoulder. The Brothers see and give me a wide berth...they ALL know the struggle I went through on the first mirror installation. I manage to "pull myself together" as Robine is always advising me to do. I take a deep breath and walk up to the rehab room.
8) I enter the room and just squat there looking at the broken mirror, face in my hands...there is no one to blame but myself. Sister Anna walks in now asking me for things...I turn to her, she sees my face. I immediately apologize before saying anything..."I am soo sorry, but this is not a good time. The mirror is now broken...again...and I need a moment to compose myself" She is immediately understanding and sympathetic, apologizes and leaves.
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| Mirror is cracked across the bottom left Brian had snuck into the room while I was recovering my composure |
9) Robert is still saying he is "on his way"...it is now 1:30 PM. I call Jamile....he agrees to bring out another mirror in the next 2 hours. He is QUITE happy to do this as he charges me quite a pretty penny for it.
10) Robert and Jamile arrive. There is great discussion now (5 men) on how to re-install the mirror...the holes MUST match up exactly as the anchors for the mirror cannot be moved a 3rd time. I am MUCH too nervous and excuse myself to stand outside during the re-drilling of the holes as I cannot bear to watch. Robine takes charge supervising for me. It does not take long...not perfect but functional.
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| Jamile all smiles as he gets paid a large amount a THIRD TIME! |
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| Drilling the holes to match up exactly with the old mirror |
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| How many men does it take to install a mirror? (Robine, Jamile's assistant, Alfred, Robert, Jamile) |
11) Coming home from taking Phillip for his testing (MRIs/X-Rays) in prep for surgery, we are stopped by the police. NOT a good time for them to be pulling us over. The fact of life here is that the government has not paid their police....as a result, the police will pull people over and ticket them for ANYTHING they can think of. The custom is for you to pay the bribe which goes directly into their pockets. They threaten to take your car and your permit, so then you walk to the back of the vehicle and pay the bribe. The government allows this to happen so they do not have to pay the police. This is how the police get paid. They tend to pull over Muzungus as they think we have money.
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| Greedy...pulled over another van before he was done with us! |
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| Heightened security for the 20th anniversary of the coronation of the Buganda King (an excuse for the police to be out taking bribes) |
I was NOT IN THE MOOD for this. Generally, I am told to keep my mouth shut when this happens. The officer was giving us a 60,000 shilling fine for having poor tires on the van. Medson was being respectful but I was FUMING. A barrage of angry words suddenly came tumbling out of my mouth....."You should be ashamed of yourself!!.....These poor Brothers, mere beggars, are caring for your disabled children that the government won't care for! We have no money for needed X-rays and surgery let alone tires! ....read the side of the van...MISSIONARIES OF THE POOR NOT THE RICH! "
He took Medson to the back of the van (to get away from me). Medson is broke and had only 5,000 shillings. I refused to pay. Medson came back saying they are taking the van and that the officer was serious. I nearly lost it. The officer made the mistake of coming back up to the open van and saying "HI" to Phillip who was sitting there quietly. I then laid into him again..." I am SOO NOT HAPPY with you right now!!...You have no idea how angry you have made me! We are going down to your police station RIGHT NOW and we are going to have a little CHAT with your superior!" I made the move to get out of the van...this is when the officer relented...mumbled something about me promising to fix the tires and then walked away.
Douglass turned to me and smiled....I was too mad to speak. He said to me "Finally, your big mouth has paid off!" We all started laughing at this and made our way back home.
BLESSINGS: I realize now that God was testing me this week....the funny thing is, I could never have gotten the small mirrors into the sculpture frame without Jamile's help. I also needed more mirrors because I had to replace some of the small ones that were scratched....we used most of the remainder of the newly broken mirror which was PERFECT! I would have had to have Jamile come out anyway and bring another mirror. THIS WAS PLANNED FROM ABOVE...I just smiled and shook my head as I realized this.
TEST 8: (A) SEE THE BIG PICTURE AND SMILE THOUGH THE PAIN
I did not get an A+ for the final exam BUT I gave myself an A..I can see the logic in all this. I am being tested and trained for the next mission, I am sure. I think now that I can say I have passed. I pray that God gives me a reprieve for awhile....all is now installed and fixed....I even had the tile replaced today. I had to stand outside once again while the tile man worked. Robine again took charge and supervised. All went smoothly....a sign that the major troubles are now over...
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| The beautifully framed in mirrors (protection from little hands) |
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| If you let them, they can make you forget ALL your troubles! |
LESSON LEARNED.....................................................................................THANK GOD!
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